This is not love at first sight. I have never seen a man-type person before, so I don’t know what to think, really. He is beautiful, but not in that way. It’s like a star has just fallen into my kitchen. Or maybe a rampaging bear who wants to eat me. That’s just the point. I have no idea what to make of this. Do I touch his fabulous hair? Do I tie him up and wait for Mother? Hit him again with the frying pan? Maybe I’ll just… Oh crap, he’s moving. FRYING PAN!!!